People come into counselling for many reasons. They come because they are seeing behaviour in themselves that they have not experienced before. Or they don’t like the way they are reacting to their partner in a negative way, or the general public.
They come to counselling because they are feeling mentally unsettled. There are issues that are going on in their life that are causing them to feel a disruption within; in their soul or mind they are unhappy. Possibly they are going down the route of depression or feeling anxiety about something they are about to face. Or they are overstressed.
Its not a sign of weakness to come to counselling infact it’s the very strong ones that come to counselling because it can be very demanding. You are giving up time and you’re actually committing that time to yourself and making yourself hopefully feel better through this process.
It's common to feel a range of emotions after a session. For example, you might come out of your session feeling:
relieved, if you've shared something important and felt heard and understood.
energised, if you've started to understand something new about yourself or set yourself a new goal to work on
exhausted, if you've found the session challenging or hard work
frustrated, if you didn't get what you wanted out of your session or haven't felt heard or understood
upset or overwhelmed, if the session has brought up very painful or difficult memories or feelings.
I always feel that people are like an onion. We slowly peel back each layer of the onion, get to the core, and then are able to lift ourselves and to feel that we are a good solid person. We then are able to project that, and happy people attract happy people.
When we put out that pleasantness to the world we can actually receive it back. And when we have a good self-esteem this is what happens. We learn all this in the counselling room.
"My first session was bit of a blur – I had no idea what to say. I think I mainly just cried and apologised! But it got easier over time when I realised that my counsellor wasn't going to laugh at me or tell me to go away."